Tilea's Worries

Haah, I really need to hit the books.

Not because I’m planning a trip abroad or aiming for a translation job.

There’s a reason I suddenly decided to start studying Zenonese.

The other day, a customer speaking Zenonese came into my restaurant.

Of course, this is the royal capital, after all. Truly international.

This person, wearing a purple robe and looking every bit the part of a magician, approached me with:

"How much is it?"

What?! English? No, wait, Zenonese?!

I was completely flustered, stumbling over my words.

Total panic mode! Froze up completely!

I’m so used to speaking Common Tongue that I couldn’t react immediately.

After somehow snapping back into it, I managed to stammer out, "Ah, I can’t speak Zenonese. Is Common Tongue okay?"

The customer, seeing my struggle, replied:

"Ohhh, sorry about that. My native language just slipped out."

Thankfully, they also spoke Common Tongue, so everything worked out.

But what if a customer comes in one day who only speaks Zenonese?

This is the royal capital, after all—a hub of international exchange.

There are bound to be people who can only speak Zenonese.

It’d be great if my restaurant became internationally famous, with people from all over enjoying my food.

But to think that I’d trip over something as simple as a language barrier…

Here in Arcdas Kingdom, most countries use Common Tongue. It's not like my previous world, where you’d need a translator to communicate with foreigners.

But occasionally, people from the Great Magical Nation of Zenon don’t use Common Tongue—they speak Zenonese with pride. They’re proud of their native language, and I get that.

Zenonese is a language with a long history. Ancient texts are written in it, and I’ve heard you need Zenonese for magic research papers.

So, I've decided—I’m going to study Zenonese!

Zenonese is pretty much the same as the English from my past life. I studied English for six years in middle and high school. I even have a fifth-grade English proficiency certificate!

I wasn’t exactly a great student, but at least I’ve got some foundation to build on. I should be fluent in no time.

A restaurant where you can enjoy great food *and* get served in Zenonese? Sounds amazing!

Not just me, I’ll make the other staff learn too—especially that pervert. As head chef, I don’t interact with customers as much, but he’s always out front, handling service. He’ll definitely run into more Zenonese-speaking customers than me.

I’ll drill it into him.

And hey, why not make the whole Evil God Army learn Zenonese while I’m at it?

Even the lazy ones could earn some qualifications—two birds with one stone!

With this brilliant idea in mind, I head to the Underground Empire to see everyone.

Now then, what should I start with…

Vocabulary drills? Sentence writing? English-to-Japanese translation?

Memories of my old English classes come flooding back.

…Wait a sec.

It might be too soon to order them to study. First, I should gauge the language abilities of the soldiers. No point in teaching grammar to someone who doesn’t even know the alphabet.

Let’s start by investigating the language skills of the elite members of the Evil God Army…

First up, let’s see where Timu and Dryas stand.

Of course, I already know they’re way ahead of me. Timu’s a prodigy at the Magic Academy, and Dryas is a brilliant elf from the forest.

They’re probably as fluent as professional interpreters.

Time to see what I’m up against.

I head to the conference room where Timu and Dryas are.

"Hello, everybody! Can you speak Zenonese?"

I casually throw in some Zenonese as I enter the room.

"My sister?"

"Can you speak Zenonese?"

"My sister…?"

Timu looks at me, puzzled.

Well, I *did* suddenly start speaking Zenonese out of nowhere.

"Can you speak Zenonese? Please speak Zenonese."

I keep at it for my investigation. Now, how will they respond?

After thinking for a moment, Timu places a hand on her chin and says:

"Of course. Zenonese is a derivation of the magic language originally created by me. I learned it in my spare time. Honestly, of all the stupid things that humans have done in this era, their degraded language skills are among the most disappointing."

Dryas chimes in, "I can speak it as well. When Camilla-sama created me, I inherited all her knowledge, including languages."

Wow.

I encourage them to continue, and soon Timu and Dryas are chatting back and forth in perfect Zenonese.

…

It’s like watching a scene from a Hollywood movie.

Their Zenonese flows so smoothly, so naturally.

Yeah, they’re perfect. No question. Dryas, the genius elf, is a given, but Timu’s only fourteen, and yet her language skills rival those of adults.

My little sister is so talented. I’m such a proud big sister.

"Dryas, why do you think Oneesama asked us to speak Zenonese?"

"Hmm, I can think of a few reasons. First, she might be hinting that we should send forces to the Great Magical Nation of Zenon. Second, perhaps she intends to abolish the use of Common Tongue."

Their elegant Zenonese conversation continues without pause.

Seriously, these two are incredible.

They’re like real foreigners—native speakers.

Their pronunciation, the way they use the language, even the vocabulary—they’re on a whole other level from my clumsy Zenonese.

In my previous world, they’d definitely pass the highest-level English proficiency exam with flying colors.

As I continue listening to their conversation, I start feeling left out.

I can’t participate in their discussion at all.

What are they even talking about? Did they try to include me in their conversation earlier?

I can kind of get the gist from the atmosphere, but I’m not really following. I just smiled and nodded along.

Some things never change. I’m still the typical Japanese person, just like in my previous life.

"Okay, okay, you two can stop now. Let’s go back to Common Tongue."

"Understood."

"So, what were you talking about earlier?"

"Well, sister, when you suddenly started speaking Zenonese, Dryas and I were discussing what it could mean. Perhaps you’re planning to abolish Common Tongue? If so, don’t worry, we’ll enforce it immediately and ban the use of Common Tongue within the army."

"Indeed, Camilla-sama. Simply banning Common Tongue won’t suffice. I assume Tirea-sama is aiming to establish a new global language. If so, we must carry out a global-scale book burning and eliminate all traces of Common Tongue from existence."

"Exactly, Dryas! Let’s begin drawing up the plan."

"You two… I didn’t say anything like that. Stop saying nonsense and get back to your studies. You’re both incredibly capable, so keep up the good work."

After giving them a stern reminder, I leave the conference room.

Phew. As much as they’re total Chuunibyou, I have to admit—they’re brilliant. No complaints about their language skills. They’ll have no trouble escorting any Zenonese customers.

I knew that, of course. No concerns there.

The real issue lies with the others.

Now for the real challenge—investigating the rest of the crew.

I head to the break room at the Belm Royal Capital branch.

Upon entering, I spot the pervert.

"Hello. Can you speak Zenonese?"

My sudden Zenonese greeting leaves the pervert looking confused, a big question mark practically floating above his head.

Is he confused because I spoke Zenonese out of nowhere?

Or is it because he doesn’t understand Zenonese at all?

Since he’s a pervert, it’s probably the latter.

I switch back to Common Tongue for now.

"Sorry about that. It was kind of random, huh? Actually, Nielsen, there’s something I wanted to ask you."

"Yes, Tirea-sama. What is it?"

"Alright, I’ll get straight to the point. Can you speak Zenonese?"

"I can."

"Right. It’s okay if you can’t. You can always learn, so—wait, what?"

"I can speak Zenonese. It’s a necessary skill for any warrior."

The pervert said it so confidently, without a hint of hesitation.

Is he for real?

Or is this just another one of his delusions?

I stare at him with skepticism—well, more like nine-tenths doubt.

But the pervert doesn’t flinch under my scrutinizing gaze. He looks as if he’s completely confident in his abilities.

This guy always has such high self-esteem. He really thinks of himself as the perfect butler. Normally, I wouldn’t bother indulging his delusions.

But right now, I’m in the middle of assessing the language skills of the army. He’s an employee here, so I need to check his abilities.

Fine. Let’s see what he’s got.

"Alright then, show me."

"Understood. Actually, I’ve been meaning to report on the current state of our Evil God Army’s war power. My apologies for my clumsy Zenonese. At present, regarding the dispatch of troops to the Manafinto Confederation…"

Wha—what the?!

He’s speaking pretty smoothly!

This pervert, for a moment, he seemed like some elite businessman jetting around the globe.

How dare he… This *

pervert* dares to show off like that?!

Could it be… Is this guy actually smarter than me?

No. No way I’m accepting that.

It must’ve been a fluke. Maybe he just memorized that one sentence. There’s no way he can actually hold a conversation.

Time for me to ask some questions in Zenonese.

"Do you have a book?"

"Yes. I have books. What kind of book are you referring to? A tactics manual? If so, three days ago I—"

Guh. He… he’s doing it.

His vocabulary is so rich!

I… I won’t lose!

"Are you from?"

"Yes, milady. As I mentioned before, I was born in Sirena, in the Elrard region. However, at the time it was still demon territory, so it may no longer be called that."

Gah! How is his vocabulary so vast?!

It sounds perfect… I think.

I can’t fully grasp all the words he’s using due to the sheer difference in our vocabulary levels, but I can tell he’s not just making stuff up.

Even with my poor language skills, I can at least tell that much.

The pervert is definitely understanding my questions.

I continued asking him questions in Zenonese, throwing all my fifth-grade English knowledge at him, and he answered each one flawlessly.

His language skills are seriously impressive.

"Nielsen, you’re surprisingly capable."

"Yes, at least when it comes to conversational Zenonese, like this."

"Ugh!"

He totally showed me up. How dare a pervert be this competent!

It’s frustrating. So frustrating. Objectively, the pervert is definitely more skilled than I am in Zenonese.

Well, I guess it makes sense—he’s older than me, after all. Maybe he’s lived in the Great Magical Nation of Zenon at some point. Yeah, that’s probably it.

It’s just a difference in experience.

While I’m still fuming, the pervert remains as calm as ever, radiating an air of superiority.

Even though I’ve known him for about six months, I had no idea he had such a talent. I’m seeing him in a new light now.

Wait, hold on! You idiot! Why didn’t you mention this during your interview at Belm?!

If you’d shown off this skill, I would’ve been *really* impressed. Being multilingual alone would’ve earned you high marks. I might have even promoted you to head butler right away.

Instead, you wasted time bragging about your "42,000 magical power" and your retreat from Velard! This was the skill you should’ve been boasting about!

You idiot! Your Chuunibyou nonsense ruined everything!

"Tirea-sama, is something troubling you? If you’re worried, please leave everything to me, Nielsen."

"N-no more Zenonese for now."

"Understood. I’ll switch back to Common Tongue."

With that, the pervert seamlessly transitions back to Common Tongue.

He’s so comfortable with it. He’s completely mastered conversational Zenonese.

I’ve been utterly defeated. There’s nothing I can say in my defense.

"N-Nielsen, I had no idea you were so talented. I never imagined you’d be this good at languages."

"Tirea-sama, my language skills are nothing to speak of. There are plenty within the Evil God Army with equal or better skills."

"Nielsen, you’re being too humble. There aren’t many people as skilled as you."

"No, I assure you, it’s true. Zenonese is just a variant of the magical language created by Camilla-sama. If you’ve mastered magical language, it’s easy to apply. The real genius is Camilla-sama, who unified the eight languages of the Demon World during the Great Demon War, creating the foundation of—"

Cut that out! No more Chuunibyou nonsense!

Just when I was starting to respect him, he goes right back to being a pervert.

It’s humiliating to lose to someone like him. I’ll definitely study hard and surpass him!

I storm out of the break room.

But what Nielsen said still lingers in my mind.

He claimed there were plenty of others in the army with language skills like his.

No way that’s true! There must be others out there who are worse!

I need to find someone younger. Older people have way too much experience.

There’s no way I’m the worst here!

I wander around the Underground Empire, searching.

Oh! There’s Ouhon!

Ouhon, always so serious, walking the halls with the precision of a soldier on patrol. He’s clearly fully absorbed in his role as a "military man."

As always, his Chuunibyou is in full force.

Ouhon’s young. There’s no way he has the kind of experience that Nielsen has, like possibly living in the Great Magical Nation of Zenon.

Haha, I can definitely win this one.

I rush over to Ouhon.

"Hello! Can you speak Zenonese?"

"Ah, Tirea-sama."

"Ch-ch-ch, no no no! Can you speak Zenonese?"

"…Um, what does that mean?"

"Please, speak Zenonese."

"I understand. If it is your order, then I shall obey. I will speak in Zenonese."

"Ack!"

"So, Tirea-sama, how long would you like us to continue speaking in Zenonese? Will there be a point when we can stop?"

You’ve got to be kidding me! This bastard is putting on airs of intelligence!

Next! Moving on!

…

…

What in the world?!

I’ve been asking every soldier I come across, and *every single one* speaks Zenonese fluently!

I can’t believe this.

I always thought they were all hopeless Chuunibyous. But it turns out they’ve all had proper educations. These people are way more cultured than I gave them credit for.

Now that I think about it, it makes sense.

These people live such cushy lives—of course they come from wealthy families. Being upper class, they probably received top-notch education from a young age. They must have had private tutors.

Ugh. I seriously underestimated them.

Everyone here is more proficient in languages than I am. In my previous life, these guys would’ve all been rich kids, the kind who could easily get into university.

I’m breaking out in a cold sweat.

All this time, I thought they were idiots, but they’re actually smarter than me…

No, no. I’m jumping to conclusions too soon. These guys are fresh out of school. I’ve been out of the game for decades. It’s only natural that I’d forget things. I started with a handicap, that’s all.

Besides, there’s no way I’m the worst. There *has* to be someone below me.

I head to the room where the Second Division is stationed.

My target…

Yes, the self-proclaimed "Crybaby Boss" and the dumbest of the bunch, Ortissio.

If I lose to him, it’s over.

This is the final test.

Let’s see who the real idiot is.

If I lose here, my spirit will probably be crushed. It’ll cement my place as the King of Idiots.

I’ll probably never mention Zenonese again after this.

With renewed determination, I enter the room.

"Ah, Tirea-sama."

There’s Ortissio.

When he notices me entering, he greets me with a big smile.

Alright. Time for the final question.

"Ortissio, can you speak Zenonese?"

"Tirea-sama?"

Ortissio gives me a puzzled look.

This is the same reaction as the others so far.

Is he confused because I suddenly spoke Zenonese out of nowhere?

Or is it because he doesn’t understand Zenonese?

This time, I’m confident it’s the latter.

I press him with more Zenonese.

"Quickly, answer!"

"Uh, Tirea-sama?"

Still the confused look.

Maybe I should slow it down.

"Ortissio, can yooouuu speak Zeno-neese?"

"A little, perhaps. But as a warrior, it is fists that should speak, not words."

Ahhh, I feel relieved.

A weight lifts off my shoulders.

There’s this distinct, unmistakable scent of idiocy around him. I can definitely beat this guy.

Sure, he managed to say "A little," which was unexpected, but still…

"Ortissio, you’re on my side."

I draw an imaginary line in the air and make it clear he’s on *my* side.

"Ohh, to think that someone like me could stand on the same side as Tirea-sama! Your words bring me to tears!"

No, no. I’m not complimenting you. If anything, you should be worried about being on this side.

We’re both aiming to join *their* side. Let’s work hard together.

"Ortissio, you’re underestimating Zenonese. Without it, you’ll be left behind. From now on, you’ll need more than just Common Tongue."

"Er, with all due respect, Tirea-sama, I am a warrior. Is Zenonese really necessary for battle? I find it hard to believe a minor language like that would be required."

I *knew* he’d say something like that.

I bet he’ll go on about how physical strength is all that matters in the Evil God Army. Always talks big for someone so weak.

I owe Ortissio a lot. His family’s been a huge help, providing funding for the restaurant and even giving me a place to live.

And not just any place—it’s one of Ortissio’s family’s vacation homes.

It’s huge, has a bath, and is furnished with all the luxury amenities. There’s

 even a fridge!

They’ve been incredibly generous.

Renting a place like that would easily cost over a million gold per month. And Timu and I have been living there rent-free for months.

Yeah, I’d like to repay that kindness somehow.

Ortissio’s dad is probably at his wit’s end with his son’s uselessness.

So I’m going to convince Ortissio to study Zenonese.

Of course, just being good at Zenonese isn’t enough to succeed in life. But it could be the start of something.

If Ortissio works hard and becomes fluent in Zenonese, it’ll boost his confidence. That confidence could lead him to take his studies more seriously, learning all sorts of things he needs for his future.

His dad will be so proud of him for growing up.

It’s a win-win. I can repay Ortissio’s family, and it’ll help me too. Having a study buddy will keep me motivated.

"Ortissio, I understand how you feel. I used to think the same way. Like, why bother learning Zenonese? You can get by without it, right? But that’s a huge mistake."

"Is it? Common Tongue suffices for coordinating in battle. Zenonese is irrelevant. Besides, the Great Magical Nation of Zenon, where Zenonese is spoken, will soon be destroyed by the Evil God Army. Won’t Zenonese become a dead language?"

Ah, there he goes, spouting his Chuunibyou nonsense.

He just doesn’t want to study, huh?

Even back when I was lazy, I didn’t make excuses *this* ridiculous.

Now, how do I convince him…

If I just tell him to study, he’ll half-ass it. There’s no point if he’s not motivated.

The trick is getting a Chuunibyou to *want* to study. That’s no easy task.

But if anyone can do it, it’s me. I understand Chuunibyous better than anyone.

"Ortissio, do you even realize your position?"

"Y-yes. I am Tirea-sama’s loyal servant. If it is your command, I will study Zenonese with all my might."

"No, that’s not what I mean. You’re the captain of the Second Division, right?"

"Indeed! I have the honor of leading a division in the great Evil God Army!"

"Exactly. You’re a general commanding thousands of soldiers. A general needs to know many things."

Okay, maybe "thousands" is an exaggeration. He’s probably only playing around with a few dozen people. He can’t even handle three people, let alone a thousand.

"Th-that’s true. My deepest apologies. I will immediately review tactics and magic theory."

"Wait, wait. You can’t learn everything at once. Start with Zenonese."

"Um…"

"What?"

"I-I’m sorry, but… Why start with Zenonese? I still don’t understand why learning it is necessary…"

Why is learning Zenonese necessary? It’s so you can become a more global-minded leader, obviously.

But telling him that seriously won’t work.

So instead, I’ll say this.

"Ortissio, imagine you’re a general leading your troops into battle. And because you didn’t learn Zenonese, you get ambushed. What do you do?"

"With all due respect, what does learning Zenonese have to do with being ambushed? And if we’re ambushed, I, Ortissio, will fight back with all my might."

"Sharrrruuuup!! You idiot! That’s what we call a mindless brute! What if the enemy scout you captured only speaks Zenonese? What are you going to do? Kill them because you can’t understand them? You know how valuable information is, right?!"

"Well, my subordinate, Gil, is more than capable of handling that. If the scout only speaks Zenonese, I’ll leave it to Gil."

"SHAAAARUPPPP!!! That’s exactly why you’re no good! You can’t keep relying on your subordinates. What if Gil isn’t there?! A general needs to be capable of handling everything!"

"Y-you’re right! My foolish words were inexcusable! As a commander in the army led by the great Tirea-sama, I must be perfect!"

"That’s right. I expect perfection from my commanders. Learning Zenonese is just the start. What’s important is that you show you’re willing to improve. If you show me that drive, I might just make up my mind."

"T-Tirea-sama, when you say 'make up your mind,' do you mean…?"

"Hmph. The position of Grand Marshal is currently vacant, isn’t it?"

"Th-that’s right! Do you mean I could become Grand Marshal?!"

Ortissio’s legs are trembling.

Whoa, is that position really *that* big of a deal to him?

It’s just part of our little game, after all. I can’t believe he’s taking it so seriously. He really loves the Evil God Army, huh? Well, that’s exactly what I’m counting on.

The Grand Marshal is supposed to be the general of all generals. I vaguely remember explaining it once. It’s like how, in emergencies, the shogun would appoint a great elder in the Edo period. Something like that.

I was totally making it up. I barely even remember it myself.

But for Ortissio, it’s clearly having a huge impact. He’s listening with all the seriousness in the world.

"Ortissio, you guessed right. If you prove yourself worthy, I’ll appoint you as Grand Marshal."

"Ohhh, is that true?!"

Ortissio jumps for joy.

Haha, everything is going exactly as I planned. With a reward like this, Ortissio will surely throw himself into his studies.

"B-but, is it really okay for someone like me to be chosen over Nielsen?"

For a while, Ortissio was ecstatic, but now his tone suddenly shifts, and he starts to sound unsure.

What a mood swing. Well, I guess he’s used to everyone berating him, so being praised probably feels strange.

Oh well. I’ll just have to give him my usual counseling to boost his confidence.

"Hmph. Nielsen can’t be the only one leading the army all the time. It’s not good for the organization. We need fresh blood. I’m counting on you, Ortissio."

"Ohhh! But… there’s still Myuhhen…"

Come on, Myuhhen is busy with his real job. Don’t drag him into your games.

I’d better make that clear too.

"Ortissio, Myuhhen has his hands full with guild work. Don’t bother him. You handle the position of Grand Marshal."

"Ohhh, I see! But wait… Then what about the strategist? He’ll definitely interfere. That guy always finds something to criticize…"

"Don’t worry about Dryas. I won’t let him say anything. Or do you not trust my word?"

"N-no, not at all!"

"Ortissio, relax. I’ll make sure no one gives you any trouble."

"Ohh, I see!"

Ortissio’s eyes sparkle with even more enthusiasm.

Time to go in for the final push.

I stand behind Ortissio and gently pat him on the shoulder.

Then, I lean in and whisper in his ear:

"I’m counting on you."

It’s a line straight out of a motivational speech from a CEO to a new employee.

"Ohh, I’ll give it my all! I’ll die before I disappoint you, Tirea-sama!"

"Hmph. That’s the spirit. Show me you’re capable of leading an army of one million."

Of course, I wouldn’t even trust him with two people. But hey, sometimes a little lie is necessary. If it gets Ortissio to work hard, I’ll say whatever I need to.

"I-I understand! I’ll master Zenonese right away!"

Shouting "Grand Marshal!" Ortissio bolts from the room like a flaming meteor.

Luckily, there are plenty of people around who are fluent in Zenonese. Ortissio will get some good guidance.

But wait, that’s not the point! I need to study Zenonese too!

Ortissio, wait! I’m coming too!

Let’s study *together*!

I hurriedly chase after Ortissio.