Tilea's Worries

Chains are being jerked taut as the door slowly swings open.  

Half of the outside scene is already coming into view.  

This is bad—really bad. I need to come up with an excuse quickly.  

An excuse, an excuse…  

Just because the opponent is strong doesn’t mean I can forgo a one-on-one duel.  

Right now, the morale is soaring to the heavens.  

If I show even the slightest hint of weakness, that morale will drop drastically.  

So what do I do?  

What now, what now…?  

Damn it, there’s no helping it.  

When all else fails, one resorts to the age-old tactic people use in a pinch: feigning illness.  

Fake-illness!  

Everyone’s used it at least once. In life, there are moments you’d rather not face—like running a winter marathon or weeding under the scorching sun.  

And here I am, confronted not with such inconveniences but with the ultimate calamity: a one-on-one against the strongest warrior among primates.  

A little lie is bound to be forgiven.  

Alright then—the act begins.

“Guuuaaaaa!”  

I bellowed out loud. My sudden shout made the henchman pulling the chain pause his work.  

A promising start.

“Tilea-sama, are you all right?”  

Timu dashed over, his voice laced with concern.  

Damn… I’ve unnecessarily worried my little sister. My heart aches.  

But my life is on the line—I can’t let personal sentiment interfere.  

Suppressing my guilt, I continue the act.

“I—I think my knee…”  

I clutched it in exaggerated pain.  

“Tilea-sama, what on earth happened to you?!”  

Following Timu, the other henchmen hurried over, worry written all over their faces.  

“Well, it’s just that my already injured knee…”

“What!? Tilea-sama, were you injured?!”  

The henchmen were visibly shocked.  

Here I am—proud as ever of my unblemished record—and yet I mention an injury.  

I expected some surprise, but is this really that astounding?  

I mean, I do get hurt sometimes. I’m only human. Get a grip already!  

I’d love to say that out loud, but keeping up morale is my top priority right now.  

Swallowing my inner thoughts, I continue my feigned act.

“I’m sorry for holding back… Actually, during that recent assault on the royal capital, those damn demons…”  

“Unthinkable! There’s no way someone like you, Tilea-sama, would be bested by enemies of that caliber!”  

“Tilea-sama, to tell such a lie… I thought we could rely on you. Please, do tell us the truth!”  

“Exactly. No matter how enormous the enemy, we will unite and serve as your shield!”  

But led by Timu, every one of my henchmen flatly rejected my words.  

These are the same guys who’d normally believe my every word without a doubt—they’re showing an unexpected stubbornness.  

What an unforeseen miscalculation.  

Have I gone about this persuasion all wrong?  

They’ve witnessed me use my knowledge cheat to dispatch vampires in an instant, then seen me working at the shop the very next day, completely unscathed.  

Yet, they protest that because the enemy were demons, it’s only natural to be injured!  

They insist that fake demons wouldn’t even leave a scratch on me.  

Not even a scab of mine could be removed by a demon… What kind of demons are these?  

You guys—just because you pulled a knowledge-cheat with a wooden stake, don’t get carried away.  

How far do you underestimate demons?  

Ah—feigning illness is such a pain…

As I shake my head in exasperation, one of them pipes up,  

“Could it be that, Tilea-sama, you were shot by them with a Kousenjuu?”  

“Oh!? What’s this!”  

Timu had provided a perfect assist.  

“That’s right. Actually, my old wound was reopened when I got shot with a ray gun.”  

“Tilea-sama, by ‘Kousenjuu’ do you mean that thing you mentioned before?”  

“Exactly—the accursed Overparts!”  

“What!? You impudent fake demons, pulling such cheeky stunts!”  

The henchmen now wore expressions mixed with shock and anger.

Alright, they’ve bought it.  

Yes, I had previously boasted about the unbeatable power of the ray gun.  

Even the incredibly strong Vegetable God in the galaxy would be taken down if caught off guard by a ray gun.  

Everyone was in shock when they heard that.  

No matter how formidable one’s combat prowess, a single projectile can turn the tide of battle. I was just as stunned when I saw it in a movie back in my past life.

“O-nee-sama, we’re terribly sorry. We never imagined you’d been shot with a Kousenjuu… We failed to notice your condition. I am such a fool—please, punish me as you see fit.  

But if you’ll allow it, let me at least cast a healing spell on you first!”  

This is really bad.  

A new problem has arisen.  

I’m not actually injured.  

If Timu casts a healing spell on me, my feigned sickness will be exposed.  

“Ah, I forgot to mention—the wound inflicted by the ray gun can’t be healed by a healing spell. Only a proper medical machine will do.”  

At this point, if you’re going to go down the rabbit hole, you might as well go all the way.  

I piled one falsehood on top of another.  

“Is that so?! Hmmm… What, what should I do…?”  

Timu, looking pained, held his head in despair. Yet even so, this conveniently put an end to any talk of a one-on-one duel.

“Well, then… since that’s how it is, shall we continue our siege…”  

“Ugh, I can’t figure it out. According to my magical theories, there’s no answer. What kind of wound is one that festers endlessly and yet cannot be healed by a healing spell? A wound unknown to me?!  

Ah, indeed—it must be because you don’t understand the workings of my Kousenjuu. We need to establish a proper treatment method quickly, or else, in due time, your life will…”  

“Uh, Timu… it’s really not that serious an injury,” I interject.

Seeing Timu so worn down, I try to reassure him, but he remains troubled. Then, after a long moment of hesitation, his eyes suddenly widen as he shouts,  

“Enough! We can’t be researching your treatment method here. Retreat—we’ll call this battle a loss. Everyone, set it on fire!”  

That’s exactly what he shouted.

“Whoa!”  

In response to Timu’s anguished cry, everyone joined in.  

The henchmen began generating fire magic, ready to hurl it about.  

“Wa–wait a minute!”  

“Tilea-sama, we’re terribly sorry. Time is of the essence—your treatment must take precedence over the battle!”  

Timu’s face was grave, and the henchmen showed no hesitation about setting things ablaze.  

These guys, if it means protecting me or Timu, would commit robbery or set fire without a second thought.  

They’re downright fanatic followers of the Evil God cult.  

Normally, they’re gentle, good people—but they have this side, and sometimes, they scare me.  

Even now, look—they’re setting fire to flammable wood and cloth, tossing it around… oh no, oh no!

“I’m healed!!!”  

I declared triumphantly.  

“Tilea-sama?”  

The henchmen ceased their arson and turned to look at me.  

“No, I’m healed. I’m healed, so there’s no need for that.”  

“O-nee-sama, there’s no need to worry about our inadequacy. Please be honest—we will, with our lives on the line, demonstrate our method to cure your ‘incurable disease’!”  

Before I knew it, in Timu’s mind, a mere injury had been transformed into an incurable illness.

The henchmen abandoned the bastion, launching a scorched-earth retreat. There wasn’t a moment to lose.  

“Come on, look at this. Ya, tu, atatatatata, ata!”  

Turning to face them, I unleashed a rapid-fire flurry of kicks—a machine-gun kick reminiscent of a Chinese fighter in a certain arcade game—my knee moving up and down with wild abandon.  

“So, how about it? Don’t you believe I’m healed now?”

“As expected, Tilea-sama. That was lightning-fast work. Then, what about your injury?”  

“Hmph, it seems your belief has turned into power—my wound is healing before my very eyes. Thank you.”

“All right, all right—settled.”  

Timu and the henchmen looked visibly relieved; their expressions softened into ones of calm reassurance.  

Yet I felt a chill run through me and a wave of exhaustion hit me hard.  

Just as I’d predicted—if I say I’m even a little injured, everyone panics.  

Suddenly turning this place into a scorched wasteland? That’s absurd.  

Trying to prevent a town massacre only to end up setting the town ablaze is downright nonsensical.  

Faking illness simply never works—my condition affects everyone’s morale.  

What am I to do?  

The moment I claimed to be healed, their morale rebounded.  

Unabated, they resumed tugging the chains, reopening the door.  

They hadn’t forgotten about the one-on-one duel.  

What now? What now?  

There’s no time left.  

Hmm—can’t I think of a good idea?  

I racked my brains so hard I could almost see smoke rising from my head.  

And then… divine inspiration struck.  

“Ah—it's impossible. Impossible, impossible!”  

I suddenly bellowed out loud.

“Tilea-sama, what is it?”  

“You see, I did want a one-on-one duel, but it’s just impossible.”  

“Why? Is it still because of your injury?”  

“No, not that. Look over there—they’re mounted on horses.  

If I were to face them one-on-one, the balance would be off. N-no, don’t misunderstand me. I could even blow the horse away if I had to, but it just wouldn’t look right.  

It’s obvious that the one on horseback appears superior.  

As the leader of the Evil God’s army, I simply cannot afford—even for a moment—to be seen as inferior.”

I must admit, it’s a brilliant idea.  

This way, it isn’t that I fled from a duel out of fear.  

It’s a decision made so that the head of the Evil God army is never disrespected.

"Y-Yes, that's right. As Tilea-sama said, facing someone on foot against one who’s mounted puts you at a disadvantage."  

"Yeah, yeah, then there's no helping it. As unwilling as I am, let's forgo the one-on-one duel. Ah—what a pity, what a shame ♪"  

I answered with a light skip in my step, only to hear a deep, booming voice:  

"Rest assured!"  

That was Oru. That troublemaker—has he revived again? He must have had Gil-kun dash off a potion for him as usual. The power of a good support, I suppose. Still, it seems Oru's revival speed is picking up these days. And Timu’s been giving him a good thrashing too. In the Second Division, perhaps they've even established a routine for reviving him.  

Oru approached me with a broad, cheerful smile.  

"O-Oru, what are you so reassured about?" I asked.  

Even as he proclaimed "Rest assured!" a man who looked nothing but anxious drew near.  

"Heh heh, Tilea-sama, if it’s a horse you need, I’ve got them ready."  

What?! This guy is up to his usual mischief again! Just how many more troubles does he need to stir up? No, I can’t give up now. Not yet—I can still come up with an excuse.  

"Uh, you know, as simple as that sounds, even if you bring some scrap horse from around here, it won’t do. Baccio’s steed is unmistakably a fine horse. Facing them on a lousy mount would just make us look inferior."  

Sure enough, Baccio is riding a horse that clearly looks expensive. Given that Baccio himself is a giant, his steed is a magnificent, well-groomed warhorse—worth, by the market, several million to tens of millions of gold.  

"Rest assured. That horse won’t be outclassed by just any mount. I’ve gathered the finest steeds from all eras and lands."  

Oru’s emphatic assurance was followed by a sudden dash off.  

After a short while…  

"Whoa, whoa!"  

Before my eyes appeared a veritable horde of horses—horses, horses, horses! There were white horses, ponies, thoroughbreds, and a wide variety of others. Where on earth did Oru hide all these horses? Is he planning to open a ranch? No, that’s just him—he’d probably go on about having formed a cavalry like Takeda’s.  

"Oru, you’ve gathered so many horses…"  

"Indeed. They’ve been assembled according to your orders, Tilea-sama."  

"Huh? Did I ever give such an order?"  

"Heh, it is said that those of great martial prowess should be given fine horses, those of great desire money, and those of great intellect books. I wanted to recruit the mighty, so I gathered every fine steed I could find."  

W-what the… That’s nothing but chatter from a Three Kingdoms game! Enough with splurging money on trivial nonsense already! I wanted to retort, but I realized that compared to Oru’s over-the-top antics, this was a minor matter.  

"I—I see."  

"Heh. Since no one of great martial prowess was found, only fine horses kept accumulating. Ha ha ha ha!"  

Oru laughed carelessly. I glanced at the neighing horses—impressive creatures even to an amateur like me. This is bad. These are fine horses that can rival even Baccio’s steed. If I were to face them, it would make me look inferior. My excuse has, in a sense, backfired on me.  

Then, Oru selected a particular horse from the herd for me.  

Oh! I couldn’t help but exclaim in admiration. This wasn’t just any horse—it seemed to be the very epitome of a fine steed. A thoroughbred with a sleek black coat, boasting a glossy hide and sharply defined muscles; a horse that truly stood apart.  

"Oru, what is it with this horse…?"  

"It is what is commonly known as the Black Rabbit Horse."  

Just as I suspected—a steed that can cover a thousand ri in a day. In common parlance, it’s a horse with a black coat and speed like a rabbit. In current market value, it might fetch several thousand—if pushed, even an outrageously high sum—for a horse of such renown. I’d heard the rumors: it’s truly amazing. Yes, as the quintessential fine horse, it exudes an awe-inspiring aura.  

Yet this Black Rabbit Horse looks incredibly fierce. Its expression is much like that of a yakuza—a beast that seems capable of trampling two, three, no, even hundreds of people, like the beloved steed of an apocalyptic overlord. It’s a fine horse, but frankly, it’s a wild, dangerous beast, isn’t it? At the very least, it’s definitely a bucking stallion—mount it and you'll be thrown off in an instant.  

"Is it really safe to ride this? It looks utterly dangerous…" I murmured.  

"Your concern is entirely justified, Tilea-sama. In the presence of your overwhelming, sovereign aura, even the finest horse might end up trampled. However—"  

"Ortissio, hold your tongue!" I snapped.  

Before Oru could continue, Timu interjected from the side.  

"Sister, please rest assured. This horse was once a mere workhorse that could only cover a thousand ri a day, but I’ve modified it—magically, so that it can now run ten thousand ri in a day. It should be able to withstand your riding, at least to some degree."  

Magically modified? Ah, in chuunibyou speak, that means I’ve practically taken care of its upbringing—feeding it quality fodder and even dealing with its manure. And yet, for a novice like Timu to manage the care of a horse—this Black Rabbit Horse that looks so ferocious—it must have become accustomed to humans to some extent.  

I steeled my resolve and approached the wild steed. The Black Rabbit Horse glared at me with a piercing gaze.  

"Eek!" I muttered.  

"I-is it safe to approach? Won’t it buck or go wild?"  

The horse snorted heavily and bellowed fiercely. There’s absolutely no way I can ride this; even if I forced it, I’d only end up falling off.  

"Heh heh, Sister, I won’t let you do something so reckless," Timu murmured to the Black Rabbit Horse.  

Then, miraculously, the horse suddenly became docile—it even trembled slightly, as if it were a newborn fawn. Though it had seemed so unruly, it turned out it was quite accustomed to people after all. I stepped closer and patted it gently. The horse didn’t react at all; that apparent look of defiance had been all in my head.  

"Timu, you really know how to train it, don’t you?" I remarked.  

It appears that this so-called magical modification—essentially its care and training—has worked well. The Black Rabbit Horse’s demeanor was as gentle as that of a well-behaved maiden.  

It seems fine, then. Taking a deep breath and shouting a cue, I mounted it.  

Yes—it felt normal enough.  

Ah, oh no. At this rate, I’m really going to end up in a one-on-one duel with Baccio. What do I do? What do I do?  

Alright, then—I’ve got it.  

"Ah—what a pity, truly a shame. It seems I simply cannot have a one-on-one duel after all."  

"Tilea-sama, what will you do now?" someone asked.  

"Look—over there they have weapons, while we have none. It’s unbalanced. Sure, I could just disarm them with my bare hands, but that just doesn’t look right. I simply cannot abide being seen as inferior, even for a moment—my sense of aesthetics won’t allow it."  

The henchmen, satisfied with the discussion on weapons, seemed convinced, but I had a bad feeling about this. This is a matter of weaponry, isn’t it? Then surely…  

"Rest assured!"  

Oru’s deep, booming voice rang out once more over the ground.  

Yeah, I knew it. I was sure they’d come around the topic of weapons. You guys are absolutely crazy about weapons, after all.  

"Tilea-sama, please take this: a spear—the Houtengakeiki—crafted by Ron-Bern, the master craftsman hailed throughout the land."  

Oru handed me a remarkably expensive-looking spear.  

What a splendid spear indeed. I swung it around with one hand, and the air vibrated with a resounding whoosh. Amazing—it looks incredibly sharp.  

"…Incredible, isn’t it?" I murmured.  

"Even in the demon realm, there are only twelve such spears made by Ron-Bern. However, even a master craftsman, in the presence of your power, Tilea-sama, cannot give a weapon its proper form. But—"  

"Ortissio, hold your tongue. I shall speak from here on."  

Once again, Timu interjected from the side.  

"Sister, please rest assured. I have cast my hardening magic on that spear. I worked on it with all my might every day, hoping to one day witness your weapon skills. In theory, that weapon cannot be broken—unless you show your true power, that is."  

"Y-Yes."  

Th-this really sets the stage. I’ve been provided with such an amazing horse and weapon—it’d be impossible now to claim I’m giving up on the one-on-one duel.  

N-no, not yet. I still won’t give in.  

"Uh, um… Though you went to all the trouble of preparing these, I’m still not satisfied. When it comes to a one-on-one duel, if my equipment isn’t to my liking, my motivation just deflates—you know?"  

Nitpicking such a fine item is a tough call indeed. But on reflection, I alone must be the judge. I’m sorry, but I must pass a ruthless verdict.  

As I surveyed the henchmen with a somewhat mischievous gleam in my eyes, I noticed Timu looking down with a sorrowful expression.  

"Timu?"  

"Ugh… Is my power still insufficient? I modified it for your sake, Sister—using every bit of strength I have. And yet, even so, I still can’t be of any help to you. I…I am ashamed of my inadequacy. What should I do?"  

Timu’s tears began to fall one after another.  

Ugh… w-what is this? This is cheating. When I see that face… when I see Timu looking like that…  

"Heh heh heh." I grinned defiantly.  

"Sister?" Timu asked, raising his head with a puzzled look.  

"It fits—oh, it fits so incredibly well! As expected of you, Timu. Sister, I’m totally blown away. Now that I really think about it, it’s an amazing weapon paired with an amazing horse. Thank you!"  

"R-really?"  

"O-of course. Sister, I can barely restrain the urge to scratch my head from how perfectly it suits you!"  

"Tilea-sama!" Timu cried out, his sorrow instantly giving way to uncontainable joy.  

Yes, I had no choice but to say it! I’ll do it. I’ll show them!  

If it comes to this, I’ll pretend to engage in a one-on-one duel with Baccio—and then, I’ll lead the enemy on a wild goose chase as I make my escape.  

The Black Rabbit Horse is a fine steed that can run a thousand ri in a day. Time to launch the final project. I’ll escape all the way to the city where Remilia and her security forces are stationed.  

"I'm counting on you."  

I focused all my resolve on the Black Rabbit Horse, conveying my determination. It responded with a neigh that seemed to echo my feelings. That gesture—so reminiscent of the henchmen—made a cold sweat break out on me. This Black Rabbit Horse… it’s so chuunibyou. I wonder if it truly understands me?