Tilea's Worries

I read the notebook that Dryas-kun casually handed to me.

Phew~ I couldn't help but look up at the sky.

I wish I hadn't seen it...

The notebook contained detailed plans for the Evil God Army's future activities.

Monthly financial reports, military situations in other countries, global economic conditions, and so on.

This is way too elaborate for just playing around.

It's like a CIA report, packed with political and military strategies. My brain can't quite process it all.

But wait, couldn't this actually be used as legitimate military intelligence for a country?

I was being shown the unnecessarily high intelligence of Dryas-kun and the others.

Though it's mostly fabricated.

According to this military plan, the Evil God Army would control half the world by next year.

Really, I'm impressed by their imagination.

Defeating some country's great general, bringing a nation under control through gunboat diplomacy...

The most recent fabrication would be the battle with Elizabeth.

It's just endless, endless fabrication!

Timu supposedly cut off hundreds of heads with a flash wave.

The pervert supposedly destroyed thirteen humans in one second.

Is this what they call military achievements?

Each army member has detailed records of how many heads they took and how they fought.

You guys are so frail, yet you wanted to be such big heroes.

Oru supposedly beheaded five hundred and fourteen people by himself.

That's second only to Timu.

Well, in Oru's case, it says he's to be punished for getting carried away, interfering with allies' attacks, and disrupting military discipline...

It politely states that execution is pending my signature.

While Oru's execution is fine, I'm thinking of rewarding everyone for their service.

Baccio's special forces didn't take any heads, but they stood their ground without running away.

I'll give everyone handmade commendations.

They'll surely be happy.

Well, this is all just the usual chuunibyou talk.

This is fine.

It's harmless play that doesn't bother anyone.

The problem is... this.

This section detailing the future budget allocation.

It outlines plans for using the funds stolen from Elizabeth's mansion.

Right, I'd forgotten about this crisis, or rather, it had become unclear.

The issue of Oru breaking into Elizabeth's mansion to steal—this problem remained.

These guys have casually made plans to use the stolen money.

Don't you have any common sense?

Shouldn't we return it to the country?

"Ah~ Dryas-kun."

"Tilea-sama, is something the matter?"

"Well, it's this part..."

I point to the operational plan using the funds stolen from Elizabeth.

"This is the accounting for the Month of the Blade. Is there a problem?"

What do you mean 'is there a problem'...

There are too many problems!

Even if it was from a villain, you're openly planning to use stolen money.

It's definitely illegal.

Usually, they're excessively considerate toward me and Timu.

But only at times like this do they maintain their assertive attitude.

I really can't tell if you guys are timid or thick-skinned.

"Dryas-kun, I understand you all lack common sense. But let me say this anyway. Shouldn't this money be returned to the country?"

"Tilea-sama, for what reason?"

"You don't understand?"

"I-I'm terribly sorry. I couldn't fathom your profound thoughts. Please forgive my ignorant and foolish self."

Dryas-kun bowed deeply.

Hmm, why don't you understand the obvious moral principle that using stolen money is wrong? Is it because you're an elf?

No, it's not a species issue.

"What do you all think?"

I asked not just Dryas-kun but the other army members too.

The answers were all the same.

"I don't understand," "For what reason?" and finally concluding with "Please forgive my ignorant and foolish self."

This is what happens.

These guys are privileged nobles.

Nobles are taught that exploiting the common people is normal.

They don't distinguish between their money and others'. They have a "finders keepers" value system. No wonder they lack common sense.

They've never experienced having something stolen from them.

Alright, time for a little experiment.

Maybe they'll understand others' feelings if it happens to them.

"All of you, take out your wallets."

Despite the sudden command, the army members took out their wallets without hesitation.

Amazing.

Edim was slightly delayed, but still quick.

Normally, people would hesitate when told to take out their wallets.

Well, that's fine. Now for the main event.

"Now then..."

I gulp.

And then,

"I'll take these!"

I snatched the wallets one after another.

I showed no mercy, taking Timu's wallet, of course the pervert's, Dryas-kun's, and Oru's too.

The army members were stunned by my actions but quickly regained their composure.

No one resisted.

No complaints like "Stop!" or "Come on, Tilea-sama, that joke's gone too far~".

They offered no resistance.

Having lost my sense of when to stop, I ended up taking all the army members' wallets.

Before me was a mountain of wallets.

Each one was stuffed with gold and platinum coins.

You guys are really rich.

I knew that, but... wait, Timu, why do you have so much money too?!

Timu's wallet was packed with platinum and gold coins, equal to or even more than the other army members.

At a glance, it's over several million gold.

Far exceeding what my parents send me.

Where did you get this money?

Could it be some shady part-time job—well, it's definitely Oru's doing.

Oru, what were you thinking giving a child so much money!

He probably said something like "The Evil God Army's Governor-General must have appropriate funds" when he gave it to him.

Several million gold.

That's not an amount a child should casually carry around.

The giver is at fault, but so is the receiver.

These guys are definitely getting a lecture later.

First, let's deal with the immediate issue.

I'll have the army members directly experience the feeling of being robbed.

"I'm really taking these. This isn't a joke."

"As you wish. Please use them as you see fit."

The army members maintained their submissive attitude as if following a script.

What's with that?

You've just had your money stolen.

It's a mugging. I've committed a financial offense that shouldn't happen between friends.

Do you understand?

Why are you all so calm?

Wait! Maybe they think it's a joke?

Perhaps they're relaxed because they know I'm too kind-hearted to actually mug them.

The army members were showing smiling faces.

They don't look at all like people who've had their money stolen.

You're underestimating me... I'll show you I'm serious!

With a serious face, I opened an army member's wallet.

Then I carelessly grabbed some platinum coins.

The spilled platinum coins rolled across the table.

"I'm serious. Dead serious."

"Yes, sir."

Even with platinum coins clattering across the table, the army members' attitude didn't change.

They showed an iron-like will worthy of the Iron Legion.

Grrr, I won't lose!

"Th-this won't be the only time. I'll collect more in the future. Yes, this is an Evil God order!"

I pointed at the army members commandingly.

Now what?

I've given an unreasonable order like some gang leader.

There should be at least some agitation.

"Understood!"

The army members answered vigorously with "Understood!"

There wasn't a trace of agitation in their voices.

They didn't even show strained expressions.

Hey, do you understand?

I'm saying I'll exploit you in the future.

Your allowance might not be enough, so I might have to take money from your parents' wallets.

...Still, the army members' attitude remained unchanged.

These guys are quite stubborn, so I'll push a bit more.

"G-good, then let's use it right away. Let's go shopping at the market. I'll buy a pure gold frying pan. I'll buy all sorts of luxury ingredients too. Ah~ with this much money, it's hard to decide~ When it runs out, I'll just take more money~"

I pretended to pack the wallets into my bag and leave, talking about spending lavishly.

Now, how about that?

I glanced sideways at the army members.

The army members maintained their seeing-off posture without moving.

...They're not stopping me at all.

They seem pleased to give me their allowance.

W-what kind of people are they?

I'm about to give in to their willpower.

S-someone stop me.

As I was internally sweating,

"Tilea-sama, please wait."

Oh, Dryas-kun stopped me.

"I'm serious. It's useless to stop me."

"Please don't."

Oh, here it comes.

Of course you'd be uneasy when your own money is taken.

Yes, this is the feeling I wanted you to understand.

Don't make stolen money your own, even if it's from a villain.

It might have been tax money extorted from the royal capital's citizens.

It's not something to use as you please.

"Finally you understand—"

"Tilea-sama, there's no need for you to carry such bulky wallets yourself. If you need anything, please use us."

"N-no, how did you arrive at that conclusion~"

"Ah, this is... a terrible misunderstanding."

Dryas-kun bowed his head again.

Yes, yes, please correct your misunderstanding.

What kind of bully takes money and then makes the victims run errands?

"Perhaps Tilea-sama wanted to enjoy shopping! I-I'm terribly sorry. I'll hold the wallets. Here, this way."

"Ah, Strategist, that's unfair. That's jumping the queue. Tilea-sama, please add this Ortissio to your entourage."

"No, wait. I'll accompany Tilea-sama. Ortissio, step back!"

"Wait, wait, wait. Don't decide on your own. It's my turn to accompany Tilea-sama."

The army members' misaligned conversation didn't stop.

They started arguing about who would accompany me.

Yes, words aren't getting through.

Normally, I'd give up at this point because it's troublesome.

But this time it involves the crime of theft. Somehow I need to persuade these chuunibyou guys.

It's unexpectedly difficult to teach them the obvious common sense that you shouldn't use stolen goods.

Should I use an edict to force them to return the money to the country?

No, that won't work.

If I overuse edicts for everything, they might eventually stop listening. It's best to avoid edicts if possible.

Then...

I rack my brains.

This is it!

If the optimistic approach doesn't work, let's try the pessimistic one.

"All of you, quiet."

"Yes, sir."

The earlier commotion became silent as if it had never happened at my words.

This kind of obedience is also one of their good points.

"You seem to be misunderstanding. This is money stolen from Elizabeth's mansion."

"Tilea-sama, with all due respect—"

"Stop! No word games about how all the world's treasures belong to Tilea-sama. I don't want such sophistry right now. Okay? If you use stolen money, you'll get caught. It's common sense everyone knows. Do you understand?"

How about that?

It's like scolding a small child: "If you do bad things, the police will catch you."

This simple approach might be effective with these guys.

Hearing my words, the army members pondered.

Have they finally understood the gravity of the situation?

And as expected, the first to respond was the Evil God Army's Strategist, Dryas-kun.

"I understand Tilea-sama's concern. You're worried about pursuers, so you want to return it to the country, correct?"

"Yes, that's not all, but... well, that's right. You don't want to be wanted for theft, do you?"

"Then we'll take care of the pursuers—"

"Nielsen, no eliminating pursuers. No matter how brave you all are, that's absolutely forbidden!"

I cut off the pervert before he could finish.

I knew they would say that.

I had to get ahead of them.

"Tilea-sama, if that's the case, there's no need to return it to the country. No matter how we use it, it absolutely won't be traced back to us. Please rest assured."

"What do you mean?"

"We'll first mix it with foreign currency, then make the source untraceable by involving wheat market prices and multiple commercial transactions."

Hmm, listening to Dryas-kun's fluent explanation, I strangely started to think it might be okay.

But let me say this:

"Ah~ Dryas-kun, can I ask one thing?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Isn't that what's called money laundering?"

I don't know the details either.

But that's illegal, right?

It's a method typically used by those in certain professions that start with "ya."

"As expected of Tilea-sama. That's an apt naming. From now on, we'll officially adopt this method called 'money laundering' at the strategic headquarters."

"N-no, that's not the point. The name doesn't matter. Basically, I'm worried whether this violates the law."

"Tilea-sama, there's no such description in the kingdom's law. No one would even know such a method exists. Even if they did, it would be nearly impossible for them to trace it back to us."

According to Dryas-kun's explanation, tracking the flow of funds would be extremely difficult.

I see, that's the medieval era for you.

The legal system isn't well-developed.

If it doesn't violate the law, is it okay?

N-no, no, no. That's not it.

There's also the matter of ethics.

"I see, I understand it doesn't violate the law. But we should return it to the country. Regardless of the law, it's wrong for you to use the money as you please."

"Tilea-sama, what's recorded in the notebook is just a plan. We have no intention of proceeding without your approval."

No, my approval is irrelevant!

These guys are definitely trying to push all responsibility onto me.

"Also, Tilea-sama. If we return the funds to the country, it might cause suspicion and trouble."

"Huh!?"

"Depending on the method of return, those who deliver it would be the first to be suspected when investigating the source of the funds."

I fall silent at Dryas-kun's sharp opinion.

Maybe being honest and returning it to the country is more dangerous?

"Dryas-kun, is it true that if we return the funds to the country, we'll be pursued?"

"Yes, depending on the vampiric unit's control rate of the royal family... there's a considerable possibility of being pursued."

That's right.

Edim's familiars are in many royal institutions.

If they could arrange things, it might work out smoothly.

"Edim, what about that?"

I turned to Edim to ask his opinion.

"Y-yes, sir. Th-that is..."

"Edim, you were vague at last month's meeting. This is Tilea-sama's question. Report on the control rate and state your opinion on applying to return funds to the country!"

Dryas-kun pressed Edim with questions.

"Y-yes, sir. Currently, the control rate of royal capital institutions is about seventy-one percent overall. However, there's a lot of variation. I'm confident in controlling the Tiger Leopard Cavalry and Royal Guard units as almost all captains are under my influence. But if information leaks to the security forces, I can't deny the possibility of being wanted."

"What! Controlling the royal capital was your top priority mission. You still have such uncertain elements!"

Oru stood up from his seat in a rage.

His face turned red with anger.

"I-I apologize. However, due to Tilea-sama's ban on familiar creation, we haven't been able to infiltrate personnel into institutions as planned, and progress has been slow."

"Are you blaming Tilea-sama for your own incompetence! Stand up straight! I'll beat you to death!"

Oru walked heavily toward Edim and grabbed him by the collar.

"N-no, that's not it at all. If you would permit familiar creation, I could quickly take control of the security forces."

"You fool! This is Tilea-sama's decision. It's not for someone like you to comment on. You should just do as you're told without question."

Oru is berating Edim, spitting as he speaks.

He's really letting loose with the abuse.

This is usual, but if you anger Edim, he could destroy you in an instant.

Edim is handling this maturely, which is why things are still peaceful.

Look, Edim seems to be tearing up from frustration.

His shoulders are trembling.

Further provocation would be dangerous.

If he loses his temper and kills someone, it would be disastrous.

"You two, stop it."

"But!"

"Oru, won't you listen to me?"

"Y-yes, sir. I apologize."

Oru released Edim's collar and returned to his seat.

"So, Tilea-sama."

"Hmm?"

"What would you like to do about the funds acquired from Elizabeth's mansion? If Tilea-sama wishes to return the funds to the country, I will redraft the plan."

"It's fine. It seems returning it to the country would be problematic. Let's use it ourselves."

"Then!"

"How-ev-er, the usage is the issue. The plan you submitted won't do. Are you kidding me?"

"Is there a problem?"

Problem...

Just flipping through it briefly, I can see several strange points.

Evil God Museum, Evil God Hotel, Evil God Theme Park...

These are all unnecessary facilities.

Infrastructure should come first!

Such entertainment facilities can come later.

And another thing.

These guys are planning to build such expensive facilities, two in the same area.

One plan prepared by Oru, and another by Dryas-kun.

You guys are doing redundant administration like proper bureaucrats!

"There are many problems. Building facilities is fine, but there are priorities. Roads, sewers—at least use it for infrastructure development."

"Understood, national prosperity and military strength, correct?"

"Yes, that's right. But we don't need the 'military strength' part. 'National prosperity' is what's important."

"Yes, sir. Indeed, with us here, 'military strength' isn't necessary! Hahaha!"

The pervert laughs loudly.

The army members laugh along.

This is it. This is why I can't take my eyes off them.

My head is really starting to hurt.

Honestly, I'd like to pretend this never happened and ignore it.

But since we can't return the funds to the country, we who stole it must take proper responsibility.

That's what responsibility means.

Let's consider these funds as taxes from the royal capital's citizens. Just leaving it in the Evil God Army's treasury would only damage the market economy.

Then, we should use it for infrastructure development.

If we use it properly for the royal capital's citizens, everyone will be happy.

Everything will work out and be okay, right?

"All of you, I'll take command of this project. You can make any plans, but think 'citizens first.' I absolutely won't allow corner-cutting like not properly compacting the soil."

"Yes, sir. We will definitely submit plans that will satisfy Tilea-sama."

But that would be "Evil God first," wouldn't it?

Do you guys really understand the point?

I can't help feeling anxious.

I wonder what kind of plans they'll come up with.

If the proposals are too ridiculous, I won't approve them.

Like the Lion of Money, I'm prepared to finish with "No Money" if necessary.